5 days to go till 1st exam

Last week my average day consisted of 8.30am - 5.00pm lectures then a run, home for a bite to eat before heading down to Bournemouth University library. Leaving around 3 hours later I would get home with enough time and consiousness to check my e-mails before passing out.

This week, I don't seem to have the same drive that I did last. I suspect that it's because last week I felt in real danger of failing at least two of my exams. This week I feel more confident. Or is it over-confidence? I write this post as a wake-up call to myself to get on and pick up the pace again. It actually serves as a double incentive, because now if I don't do well, I am going to look really stupid saying I took a few days easy the week before my exams.

The upside is that yesterday was windy and I was able to make the most of it. I spent about 4 hours kitesurfing in Poole Harbour. The conditions weren't all that great as it was really gusty due to rain-clouds passing by. I confess that I did put up a kite a size too big.(big kites for low wind, small kites for higher wind) that made it pretty hairy at times.

Driving back from the harbour yesterday evening I was so drained that I was hardly able to turn the steering wheel of my(soon to be dead - more on that later) car. At one point, stopping at a newsagent for some sugar snacks I had to execute a three point turn which due to my girly strength became more of a spirograph in the road. This morning I feel properly worked.

Alas my poor car. The Ego-mobile [I really must find/take a picture of it - soon] is soon to go to the scrapyard in the sky. Or maybe the one at Pease Pottage which doesn't charge quite so much to take it. Insult to injury that is. Anyhow, yesterday it mortally failed it's MOT. When I rang to see whether it passed, the guy asked me to call back in an hour as it would take that long to price up what it would take to get it through!! Even if I do most of the easier work myself, it is still going to cost around £600 to fix. Considering that is what I paid for it 2 years ago, it doesn't seem worth it.

I still have 3 weeks to run on the MOT so that gives me a bit of a chance to find a replacement. In the past I have always had fairly sensible economical cars, but now I have had the GTI, I am going to find it hard to go back.

It is windy today too, but body aches and revision needs demand that the kite stays in the bag. Shame.

Updates

Well as you probably have guessed by now, I broke up with Anna last weekend. 4.5 years. Feeling sad, but have exams in 1.5 weeks so have to get on with life.

I haven't put on my running shoes for a week now and am feeling a bit slack with myself. A photo of the hill that the race is up(and back down) can be found in My Fitness Mission . I update this link periodically. You can find it on the tab to the right.

Keep 6th/7th May free as will be celebrating my birthday and end of exams then.

Sorry for the brief post.

Ow

Little dazed.

Seems it isn't/wasn't to be. Tried to get it to work but...

Wondering if if there was anything else to try. Anything we should have tried.
So perfect in virtually every way, a crying shame.
You can't make someone feel a certain way, can you?
Reeling over the keyboard with salty cheeks and tripping over re-typed and blurry words, I am not sure I will ever be much wiser.

If it has to be, surely it must be for the best, yes?
Drifted apart, not enough of a spark, what sort of chemistry is this anyway? Certainly none that I ever studied at school. Perhaps violent reactions are the best, volitile mixing producing pyrotechnics and explosions rather than affinitys that simply fizzle out. Atleast you know then.

20 minutes break for tea. Vital life-balm. Looking at what I have written, I realise it will make interesting reading later. Though, I will probably be embarassed of my emotions and delete it.

Saw it coming? Probably. The shadow of the end had been there for a while, but denial and hopes' colours are stronger. The 'next weekend' was always going to be the one that worked. Trouble is, it rarely was. Sometimes, though. Last night for instance. But not enough.

Haven't known anything else for such a long time (4 1/2 years) but maybe it just seems that way. So many differences, so much change. The next few weeks will be telling.

I dropped her off at the station this afternoon. Wrenched. 'For the best' I guess, but I'm feeling sick now. My intention had been to come home and get some work done, no chance of that now, it will have to wait till tomorrow.


Anna

Funny how keeping a diary has forced me to wear my heart on my sleeve more. A few months ago opening myself up would have been unthinkable. Now it almost seems thereaputic.

3 weeks till exams. Aargghhh.

The penny finally dropped today that the end of module exams are rapidly approaching. Three weeks to go; I am not sure I feel comfortable with that.

Time to REALLY get the head down and do some work I guess.

On Saturday, apart from squeezing in a double squash session(needed - thanks Becky) and smashing a vase(sorry Tam) while trying (unsuccessfully) to pull off a yoga move - cutting my back up in the process I also went to Slippery's birthday dinner. In his typical style it was on the Hispinola, docked by Embankment on the Thames. Good to catch up with the Florida crew again but I feel a little ashamed for getting the last tube home. At least it meant that I was able to do lots of studying the next day.

Boing......

Another kitesurfer

Yesterday, Thursday, Adas, JJ and Vegas came down to Bournemouth. Taking my last lecture off we headed down to Poole Harbour to try and catch some wind.

Unfortunately for Adas, Vegas and myself, after the first squall had passed it wasn't windy enough to get going. This was good news for JJ who then had 3 teachers to guide him. Some quick progress later and he was getting up on the board.

If there had been a bit more wind earlier it would have been awesome, but I don't want to knock a really good day. Especially one that ends up in a Tandoori House. Thanks guys.

The best thing about it is that we have turned another to the kite-side.

Wahey, just got wet !!

Apart from a freezing cold shower - I have just one as our boiler has gone out - I also got a quick kitesurf in. Yay!!

I arrived down in Poole Harbour just as it was getting dark and debated for a few minutes whether to set up, change into a wetsuit and go in or not. If I could have forseen the grin that I left the water with just one hour later when only the slightest glow remained over the horizon, I wouldn't have hung about at all.

My first time in the water since January and I am just gutted that the wind is veering around to the North for the next week. Still it is probably not all bad as atleast I will be able to get some important studying done.

Infact, I have a test tomorrow on one of the modules, "Human Performance and Limitations", which I had better get studying otherwise I'll be up all night.

See ya.